Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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