In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
