she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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