I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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