Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
