There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
