There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
