Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize