shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
