He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
