I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
