just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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