I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
