but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
