i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
