i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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