I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have demons in me.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
