I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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