dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
