Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
