There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
