Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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