so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
