Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
