I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
