After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
