..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize