It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
