so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
