I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
