Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize