I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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