just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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