After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
