every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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