2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
