: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize