What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
