oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Randomize
