Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
