and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
