yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
