This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
