You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
