she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
