they need to just BURY HIM!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Everclear isn't food dammit
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had to cum in my sink.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
