I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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