I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize