It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
