I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
