She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
