nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am one with the molecules
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
