and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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