this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
