Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
