Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
