we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
