I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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